When is it Time to Consider Meds?
When it comes to medicating a child, I think it’s important to lead with caution. If medications are avoidable, it’s definitely best to avoid them. Going through the medication process is a pain. It’s a process of trial and error that requires a lot of patience. Medications can cause a variety of side effects and some can have long-term effects. However, after all resources are exhausted, sometimes medications are necessary. Sometimes, it boils down to brain chemistry and there is nothing with needing medication.
One of the most important things to remember as you try to determine if medications are necessary is to trust your instinct. You know your child better than anyone else. Other’s will gladly offer up their opinions about how “it’s normal for kids to feel anxious or shy at this age” or “plenty of kids at this age have short attention spans”. Although this is true, if your gut is telling you there’s something more to it than just that, listen to it.
Talk to Your Pediatrician
If you finally come to the conclusion that there is something off, schedule an appointment with your pediatrician. They can do a quick assessment to see if what you’re seeing is abnormal. I can only speak specifically to anxiety and ADHD but there are surveys they can give that will provide an indictator is something is off. The pediatrician can also offer suggestions of different routes you can take to better support your child.
Talk to the School
Communicating with teachers is incredibly important. You need a team. You need extra eyes on your child. It’s hard to know how their behaviors are showing up throughout the day in a different environment. The teachers appreciate the heads up. Additionally, should you need supports like a 504 or an IEP down the road, you have teachers that have been looped in early on and can help vouch for you.
Keep in mind that the teachers still don’t know your child like you do. There may be things that they don’t notice or they don’t quite grasp exactly what you’re seeing at home. For example, anxiety doesn’t always involve someone having a panic attack and sitting in fetal position. Anxiety can look like ADHD, it can cause stomaches and vomiting, it can simply look like a child just has a lot of questions. But inside, that child is spiraling. Furthermore, children are also good at masking their problems at school— so it’s not always as obvious.
Different Resources
After talking to the pediatrician, we were pointed in the direction of Occupational Therapy (OT). OT is not just for children who have sensory issues or physical ailments. There are so many things they can assist with.
We also found therapists. The first therapist specialized in Parent Child Interactive Therapy that ultimately taught us, the parents, how to create a safe space for our daughter. The hope was that with enough time and effort, we could create a space where she could process some feelings and we could help her brainstorm coping strategies.
Her Occupational Therapist suggested looking into a therapist as well who has a specialized background. We found a therapist through our pediatrician’s office and have used the therapist as support. The therapist can help dig through how my child processes things and thinks about things working on more of the root issue. OT focuses more on hands on skills that can be helpful coping strategies.
I also found a variety of tools (mostly from Amazon) to use at home to try to help support all the strategies. For example, we used a bubble blower to help promote deep breaths. We used a timer to help with transitions and focusing. We used sound canceling headphones and essential oils that made her feel like she had more control in her enviornments.
Time for Meds
We exhausted all the resources and still were noticing that the anxiety was just not manageable. Her poor little body just needed a break from the constant ball of nerves that sat in the pit of her stomach. So we finally found a psychiatrist and recapped everything we have done.
The psychiatrist will be the final expert to let you know if they think medications are necessary. They may have alternative routes if you’re still trying to avoid medications.
Even when medications are prescribed, it’s still important to provide your child extra supports. The purpose of medications is to quiet the noise and help them better manage themselves. Once all the mental noise is quieted, then they are able to hear you. They are able to hear the coping strategies and learn how to apply them. They can forge new neuropathways. Depending on what your child needs assistance with, they may not have to be on meds forever if they are able to learn how to manage everything.
Navigating all of this can be daunting. You may shed tears and feel frustrated or defeated. I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel. The fact that you’re even trying to figure out how to best support your child and identify what they need already shows how great you’re doing.
Keep at it.
