Helping Them not Hate Math
English and math were both subjects I taught when I taught middle school. These subjects were both the “heavy hitters” and the subjects that involved the most parental concerns. I usually heard from parents after they spent an evening fighting with their child trying to help them complete the most recent assignment. The child would refuse to do the work, would get started and quickly quit, or would take far longer than necessary to complete the given task. Thus, parents were left with little patience and feeling frustrated, tired and helpless.
Here are the 4 things I told parents, and students alike, when it came to math.
Confidence is the make or break factor!
This is the most important thing to remember. Students who don’t have confidence in their own ability are far more likely to give up or not even get started because they don’t think they can do it.
Because confidence is so important, give them all the tools to succeed. If they don’t know their math facts, provide a multiplication chart (and please practice them with them outside of homework - there is a trend with struggling students and it usually boils down to the fundamentals). Provide a number line. Provide a calculator for them to check their work. Provide them with manipulatives (like coins, fraction tiles, something hands on). Let them use these tools as they work on their assignment. Just knowing they have these tools at their disposal often lets them get out of their heads.
When they are finished, let them check their answers with a calculator or check them over with you. This way, they feel confident in their answers when they turn in the assignment. If they review it in class, they feel more comfortable being called on and when they can give the right answer to the class, this also builds their confidence. Over time, the more they can raise their hand to answer a question and the more they say a correct answer out loud in class, they become more comfortable participating in the classroom dialogue.
As they become more confident, the extra supports you provide won’t be necessary. They’re simply there so they can focus on learning what’s in front of them and not letting their deficits hold them back any further.Lastly, to ensure you are building their confidence, provide all the labeled praise you can. “I love that even though you got frustrated, you kept trying.” or “That’s such a great question! I love that you asked!” or “Good job checking your work… you’re doing great!” or “Great answer! See… you’ve got this!”
Everyone is good at math
I begged parents to not tell their children, “I’m not good at math” or “Math was never my subject.” This mentality made it seem acceptable for their child to adopt thus resulting in a lack of motivation to truly try.
Everybody can be good at math if they try. We may lack confidence but everyone is capable. We may need more help than others. but if we practice enough we can do it!
Chunk the assignment
Trying to complete an entire assignment at once can feel overwhelming - especially if math already makes you nervous.
Cover up the rest of the work with another piece of paper or a handful of sticky notes so that you are only focused on the one problem in front of you. Do three or four problems at a time and take a break. Encourage your child to do this at school as well. Cover up problems in the text book with a piece of paper or provide them sticky notes of their own.
Ask Questions!
Being able to recognize you need more clarity is great. Asking for help and seeking for a better understanding is even better! I tried to really encourage my students to ask questions so I could understand how to do my job better. I emphasized that it was my job to teach them and if they weren’t understanding the material then I wasn’t doing my job well.
In addition to questions about the content itself, students need to also advocate for themselves and ask for more time, for breaks if they find themselves getting stressed, ask to sit closer to the board, ask if they can come in before school, ask if they can use extra supports (like a multiplication table or to see the answer key to check their answers). Encourage your children to ask for what they need.
These suggestions are applicable to all areas of learning. However, they were something I found myself truly having to coach students and parents when it came to math.
Parents, it’s okay if you don’t understand what your child is learning in school. Modeling to your child how you work through something you don’t know is incredibly powerful. Let your child see you reread directions or review the class notes; show them how you look up YouTube videos; write down questions to the problems you don’t understand; and even show them it’s okay to take a break when you’re getting frustrated.
Just be mindful of what you are saying in front of your child. Telling your child that you think it’s ridiculous how they teach math today or that you aren’t a “math kinda person” isn’t encouraging and it is an infectious mindset. Focus on the positives, focus on the praises, and let them know it’s okay to be frustrated but that you’re both in this together!
Math doesn’t have to be this daunting subject if the child realizes they are capable and it’s okay to ask for help. They don’t have to love math, they just have to see that they can do it, or at minimum, they know how to figure it out with the right tools (just like we do in everyday life).
